Tips jars

This is a rant that's been a long time coming.

You know the little tip jars that they put out in some fast food joints or pizza parlors? The kind where you walk up to the counter, order your food, pick it up, and take it back to your seat to eat it. It bugs the crap out of me when I see these things.

The implication is that the work being performed is deserving of a tip in the same way that waiting a table in a full service or even a casual dining restuarant does. The same questions always go through my head. Why do you want a tip? For getting my pizza out of the oven? Why do you think you should get the same reward as the waiter or waitress who seats me, takes my order, brings my drinks out to me, makes sure they're full, and checks on me after I've gotten my food? I've waited tables before, and it sucks. It's hard work, and you have to have to bust your ass to get those tips. Not only that, but it is your sloe source of income. Sure, you draw an hourly wage that equates to half that of minimum wage, but the expectation is that you make a living off of your tips. So why should you get a tip when you already make a full hourly rate and you do a fraction of the work?!?!

So, you may ask, what do you care? Why don't you just not tip?

Of course, I will tip. It's not that I'm sympathetic or even charitable. It's that I'm completely vain. I don't what anyone thinking I'm a cheapskate. You may think that's a stupid attitude to take, but you know I'm not alone in this. A tip is not just a request for a reward for service. Not here, at least. It's an hidden little declaration of social status between you, the tipee, and whoever else may be watching. You're saying "I'm a generous kind of guy" or "I'm a cheapskate who can't afford it". Even if you don't care what the person serving you thinks about you, you want to be sure some teenager's not spitting in your food because they feel underappreciated. And I'll make damn sure that if I put money in the tip jar, they'd better see it.

But here's the note to all you restaurant owners out there. If I'm going to your restaturant, and I'm picking up my own damn food and taking it back to my seat, if I see a tip jar - I'll tip, but I'm not coming back. If I wanted the hassle of calculating a tip, I'd go down to a sit-down restaurant. I care here to get something cheap to eat, and the little tip jar is another hidden cost.