Or so they say.
"They" obviously weren't women, because women want to know every damn thing. I watched House today at lunch, and it featured an episode a patient that almost got himself killed because he couldn't admit around his wife that he was bipolar. When it finally did come out, she stormed out of the room because "he didn't trust her". I was thinking to myself, is it really the end of the world? Is she going to walk out on her husband because he was ashamed to admit that we was bipolar? Apparently, the answer was yes.
Which caused me to reflect on the fact that it's not just the big things that women want to know everything about, like what you did when you were younger or how many people you've slept with, but little, stupid things, like the entire damn conversations you've had about things you don't care about. Then what did he say? And what did you say after that? Why didn't she want to come? He said he was depressed, why was he depressed? What do you mean you didn't ask him? Blah blah blah blah blah......
Now I realize I'm not being completely fair. There are some men out there who can't stand not to know everything, but there are fewer of them, and they don't take it as far. When I have a conversation with someone, I get a general gist of what's going on, but there's some goal I'm satisfying too. Everything beyond that, I don't care to know. Say for instance, I'm having a party, and someone who previously said they're coming can't make it:
Caller: Hey James, look, we've got bad news. X and I aren't going to be able to make it .
Me: Really? I'm sorry to hear that.
Caller: Yeah, it's just that X's mom is sick and yada yada yada
At this point I'm tuning out. I hear words, but the goal of this conversation is acheived. You're not coming. Make less tacos. I wait for the pause that indicates my turn.
Me: Geez. That sucks. Well, thanks for calling. Maybe next time.
Then my wife asks me who called. Ladies, pay attention. When you get brief, one or two word answers, we are telling you we do not want to recall the whole thing verbatim.
Wife: Who was that?
Me: X and Y. They're not coming.
Wife: Why not?
Me: Umm... Y's mom is sick.
Wife: Oh my God. With what?
Me: I don't know. I didn't ask.
Wife: What do you mean you didn't ask?
Me: I don't know. It didn't seem relevant.
Wife: Aren't they your friends?
Me: Yeah, but that's their business. What do you want from me?
It's like pulling out your own teeth.
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3 comments:
I must always remain anonymous, but I must also say that I enjoyed this post dramatically more than the others thus far...it was light, breezy, and informative, yet didnt drift into preachy territory...I find what you say to be true, and also very reflective of your personality, at least as I know it...so when are we having tacos again?? Oh yeah, this is why I must remain anonymous...
Have you ever considered that if you had obtained the full story the first time around and provided your wife with an answer about who called and why in more than 3 words, perhaps the conversation in it’s entirety would have been much shorter and less aggravating for all?
not so anonymous Jeff: Thanks for the input. I'll ease off on the political commentary unless something really ticks me off. As for tacos, probably not very soon. Taco night tends to be an expensive proposition, even when it is BYOB, and my little place can barely accomodate it. I might postpone it indefinitely until I get a bigger place.
-h: I feel sorry for your husband. Next time you're snuggling up in bed, take a look at the side of his chest. Do you see little buttons with a triangle, a square, a red circle, and the double-right triangles and the double-left triangles? No? That is because your husband is not a tape recorder. He is more like a Brita water filter. He takes in muddied, polluted information with useless crap and presents filtered, clean, useful facts. You should be honored that he saved your precious time by not addressing irrelevant questions.
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